I am surrounded by white trash neighbours. I don't mean that to be a value judgement — I sound like such a snob. The simple fact is we come from different world views. They like the small gardens, proximity to a rugby stadium, and swearing loudly. I detest those things, and I prefer to swear online.
One of my neighbours showed me her new car a few months ago. I tried to act impressed and asked if it was brand new. Such a stupid question. Of course it wasn't. She rolled her eyes. I'm such a carfool. A couple weeks later I scraped her bumper which caused a great deal of excitement.
Last week she showed me her paintings — acrylic, sketches, watercolours, you name it. The sketches weren't too bad although a bit hokey — wagon wheels and rusticana. The oils, scenics, were just terrible though I thought. It's a strange thing: all the houses are identical. It was like some home decorating reality show had done something nasty to my dwelling. I remarked, "interesting to see what your neighbours get up to" as I backed toward the door, eyes flecked with fear and teeth flecked with spinach. "Oh you have no idea what I get up to!" my neighbour (who is a grandmother) responded. I fled right about then.
Anyway, my car has new CV joints now which means it doesn't make that happy little railway clickety click on corners any more. Last night, I had to park my car's brand new $500 CVs out on the street because one of my evil neighbours stole my park then wouldn't answer the door. The Universe saw fit not to toy with me too much by arranging that my CVs be stolen, so that's something.